Margaret Whitestone Riggs 1930-2015
Every generation stands on the
shoulders of those who paved the way, and my mother was one of those
rare individuals who was a trailblazer. Despite growing up in
privilege in the 1940s in a nice house in Bronxville, NY, with a car at
16, piano lessons,a cook and a private school education, she was the
only child of two working parents, and I think her vision for her
future included giving back to the world. She always wanted to become
a doctor, but it was daunting in those days for a woman to excel in
the sciences, and to defy traditional expectations of marriage and
domesticity.
In pursuit of a degree in biology, she
transferred from Gaucher College to the University of Wisconsin, and
as luck would have it, went on a blind bridge date with my father. She knew
instantly that he was the man she would marry, and brought him back
East to meet her parents. My grandmother did not much like this
Midwestern boy with the threadbare shoes, and threatened him with a
frying pan! But they were married in a small ceremony after
graduation, and eventually moved to Hastings in 1957 to raise their
three children, and begin a lifelong passion for alpine rock
gardening. In fact, she bought her last home sight-unseen, because of
the rock ledge, which she and my father converted over the years to a
showplace garden of rare and exotic alpine plants, in between
traveling all over the world with my Dad to see gardens and enjoy the
sights in Russia, China, Turkey, Egypt, Poland, France, and England in her
later years.
My mother threw herself into being the
best mom possible, learning to cook, driving us around, helping with
homework, enjoying coffee with the neighbors and teaching us useful
skills: study hard, be nice to everyone and clean your room,which
have stood me in good stead all these years. But she yearned for more
than just “housewife”, and went back to work in her 40s, taking
graduate courses and eventually getting a Masters degree in Human
Genetics in 1975 at the newly started program at Sarah Lawrence College. She
was fascinated by the issues involved in women's health, and
campaigned vigorously for freedom of choice, marching on Saturdays at
the clinic in Dobbs Ferry with her friends. She was an ardent
supporter of Planned Parenthood, and my parents always worked at the
yearly auction in Irvington. In fact, much of her furniture was
purchased at the Planned Parenthood auction over the years.
My mom loved her career, and worked as
a Genetics counselor until 2 years ago when she retired. She
continued to keep up with the latest journals and always knew more
than the doctors she worked for, confidently reassuring patients and
family alike, armed with knowledge and experience.
My mom was passionately involved with
her friends, her kids and her 5 grandchildren, who met weekly for
Sunday dinner at her house, where she always fed us and encouraged us
all in our pursuit of our dreams, especially scientific endeavors.
She was always ready with a baked good for those in need, and called
cooking her solace. When times were tough, the smell of banana bread
always made you feel better!
My mom was broken-hearted to lose my
dad 13 years ago, and in fact had a triple bypass soon after. But she
soon adopted two cats, whose antics and predatory habits served no
end of worry and amusement, and comforted her so much. It was a
challenge to maintain her fabulous garden after my dad died, but she
soldiered on, working at her job until 2 years ago when the doctor
she worked for retired, playing bridge and keeping busy. She started
studying astrophysics a few years ago, and loved to discuss the
expanding universe, black holes and cosmic radiation...
My mother was a complicated, generous,
brilliant and witty person, who could work a room like nobody I ever
saw, befriending and getting the life story of strangers in an
instant. She made those around her laugh, and was unfailingly fun to
be around, even in times of illness or difficulty. We will miss her
laugh and her quick repartee and her reports on the doings of
everyone around her. I will miss most her support and encouragement of me, my children and my husband every day.
Jeri Riggs October 20, 2015
Posts
